The Rizzuto Show | Daily Comedy Podcast
The Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast | 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio | Gamut Podcast Network
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Buc-ee’s Legal Battles, Birthday Wishes & The Quiz Showdown
Nothing says happy birthday quite like Jeremy Piven telling Rizz he’s really, really glad he was born. And nothing destroys that warm birthday feeling faster than immediately discussing aggressive beaver litigation. Welcome back to The Rizzuto Show. Rizz recently made his first pilgrimage to Buc-ee’s in Springfield and came away with a glowing review: it was okay. It was fine. It was big. Take that, travel influencers. But while Rizz may not be ready to dedicate his life to the beaver, Buc-ee’s is apparently extremely dedicated to protecting it. The crew discusses a legal battle involving apparel company Born United, which the show says used the Buc-ee’s beaver logo on military-style merchandise and continued selling it after receiving cease-and-desist letters. The result discussed on the show: an $850,000 settlement involving trademark infringement, unfair competition and false advertising. That launches this comedy podcast into the larger debate over Buc-ee’s aggressively defending its brand, especially when smaller businesses are involved. Lern brings up John Oliver’s campaign trolling “Big Beaver” with parody merchandise featuring Mr. Nutterbutter and the phrase “Buck Off.” Instead of simply poking the bear — or beaver — the merchandise is raising money for charity, while Buc-ee’s apparently refuses to take the lawsuit bait. Lern and Tim even bought the socks. Naturally. The crew debates where legitimate trademark protection ends and corporate bullying begins. Lern compares it to protecting station branding when somebody blatantly rips off a logo versus going nuclear on some random tiny business that happens to use something vaguely similar. Basically: protect your beaver responsibly. Then it’s time to give away concert tickets. And any remaining faith in the American education system. Welcome to the Rizz Quiz. Six callers get 45 seconds of rapid-fire trivia. No skips. One wrong answer ends the run. Highest score wins their choice of concert tickets. These are not impossible questions. That becomes important. Curtis starts the festivities by correctly identifying the colors of a yield sign before saying the main ingredient in butter is oil. Score: one. Rizz then accidentally hangs up on him. Honestly, mercy killing. Brian looks like an early trivia powerhouse when he correctly identifies Garfield as orange, Madrid as the capital of Spain and six as half a dozen. Then he says the planet with the Great Red Spot is Mars. Jupiter would like a word. Score: three. Justin steps up and starts absolutely cooking. A baby kangaroo? Joey. Sapphire? Blue. Girl with the red hood? Little Red Riding Hood. Quarters in two dollars? Eight. Crushed peanuts? Peanut butter. Which ocean borders California? Atlantic. NOOOOOOO. Justin still posts the best score so far with five, but geography has officially entered the building and chosen violence. Next comes Zach, who asks the show to wish his son Jameson a happy 11th birthday. Rizz explains they don’t do shout-outs while immediately wishing Jameson a happy birthday and giving him applause. Perfect. Now Dad has to win for Jameson. Unfortunately, Dad does not know how many years are in a millennium. Happy birthday, buddy. Daddy got you 100 years instead of 1,000. Mark is next and nearly gets taken out immediately by Scar from The Lion King. After what feels like a complete psychological journey, he finally remembers the villain’s name and battles his way to five correct answers, tying Justin. Then Aaron arrives with the opportunity to avoid a playoff entirely. His first question: What is the bottom color of a standard traffic light? Red. Game over. The answer is green. Aaron scores the day’s first zero, and somewhere every DMV employee listening quietly locks the doors. Now we have a playoff. Justin returns first and answers six inches in half a foot. Correct. Bruce Wayne’s superhero identity? Batman. Correct. What country is directly north of Mexico? Alaska. ALASKA. The comedy podcast has officially abandoned geography and entered experimental theater. The room absolutely collapses. Not only is Alaska not directly north of Mexico, it is — and we cannot stress this enough — not a country. Justin finishes with two. That leaves Mark needing three correct answers to win. Football safety? Two points. Shape with no corners or straight sides? Circle. Famous New York statue holding a torch? Statue of Liberty. We have a winner. Mark takes the Rizz Quiz crown and chooses Breaking Benjamin with Chevelle tickets, bringing one of the most educationally concerning contests in recent show history to a merciful conclusion. But Rizz has one final question. He reveals the closest-number tiebreaker they could have used: How many floors are in the Empire State Building? Now everybody in the studio gets involved. Devon guesses 54. Lern lands on 88 after changing her answer. Another guess rockets all the way to 224. Rafe goes with 150 — while admitting he almost said 400 before realizing that might make him “sound like a real dumb ass.” Good save. The actual answer according to the quiz? Lern’s 88 is closest. Somehow, after an entire segment of listeners getting publicly destroyed by elementary-school trivia, Lern walks away the intellectual champion. So this episode has everything: Jeremy Piven birthday wishes, Buc-ee’s trademark warfare, Big Beaver, John Oliver trolling, concert tickets, Garfield, Jupiter, a child learning his father doesn’t know what a millennium is, California apparently relocating to the Atlantic Ocean, Alaska declaring independence from the United States and a group of grown adults trying to estimate the height of the Empire State Building. It’s trivia. It’s chaos. It’s The Rizzuto Show. And please remember before getting behind the wheel today: Green is on the bottom. Follow The Rizzuto Show → linktr.ee/rizzshow for more from your favorite daily comedy show. Connect with The Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast online → 1057thepoint.com/RizzShow. Hear The Rizz Show daily on the radio at 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio in St. Louis, MO. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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