The Rizzuto Show | Daily Comedy Podcast
The Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast | 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio | Gamut Podcast Network
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Allergy Adventures, Fecal Fiascos & Late-Night Chicken Soup
Rafe might have allergies. Or a cold. Or he might simply be preparing for pharmaceutical Armageddon. Either way, he arrives with enough medication spread across the desk to make the studio look like a Walgreens with microphones. That’s how this episode begins, and somehow things get significantly less sanitary from there. Rafe is determined not to get sick, so he’s armed with cold remedies, allergy treatments, mystery medicine from Devon and, naturally, cheese-filled salami wraps. Rizz recommends the traditional cure of chicken soup — AKA “Jewish penicillin” — while everyone tries to determine whether there’s actually something magical happening in the broth. This daily podcast then becomes a support group for adults who wake up injured despite accomplishing absolutely nothing. Rizz’s hand mysteriously hurts. Lern wakes up with a completely numb hand after falling asleep on the chaise lounge. Rafe routinely loses feeling in entire arms while sleeping. That launches everybody into an extremely detailed comparison of sleeping positions, dead limbs, stomach sleeping, coffin sleeping, restless legs and the bizarre little rituals our bodies apparently demand before allowing us eight hours of unconsciousness. Moon sleeps like a vampire. Lern has an elaborate pelvic-hand configuration. Rafe rubs his feet together like a human cricket. Everybody is doing great. Lern also shares her surprise Mary Kay makeover from a listener, which sends the room down memory lane with pink Cadillacs, parents getting involved with Mary Kay, Tupperware parties and the strange world of home-sales businesses. Naturally, Rafe has a related story. Early in his comedy career, he and another comedian performed at an event and discovered part of their compensation involved a swag bag filled with adult products. Money disappears. Possessions come and go. But apparently a bag of novelty merchandise is forever. From there, Rizz gets into the supposed magic of 10,000 steps a day and explains that the famous number traces back to pedometer marketing rather than some sacred scientific commandment. The crew discusses walking pace, Moon’s extremely active 83-year-old mother and the general importance of staying mobile as you get older. Then we meet Hyrox. Imagine running five miles while repeatedly stopping to punish yourself with sled pushes, sled pulls, burpee broad jumps, rowing, kettlebell carries, sandbag lunges and wall balls. Sounds fun! It gets better. The show discusses a 22-year-old competitor who won a Hyrox event despite suffering an absolutely catastrophic bathroom emergency during the race. She kept going. And won. Normally, that would be an inspirational sports story about perseverance. Unfortunately, Hyrox involves shared workout equipment. Now we have a biohazard. The crew debates whether finishing the race was admirable, horrifying or both, especially after learning the incident reportedly happened early enough that the competitor still had multiple shared stations ahead of her. The event ultimately changed its rules for future incidents, but her victory remained intact. A win is a win. Apparently. You might think one poop story is enough for a daily podcast. That would indicate you have never listened to The Rizzuto Show. Welcome to Poopy Tuesday. The next story involves an alleged affair, neighboring units in a Miami-area mobile home park and a woman accused of preparing an entire bucket of human waste specifically to throw in her neighbor’s face. That sentence somehow gets worse when the crew learns she reportedly told someone beforehand what she was planning. Nothing says “healthy conflict resolution” quite like collecting ammunition yourself. Crime news continues with authorities reportedly searching for an older Chevy Tahoe bearing the words “Fat Chicks Only” after a burglary. Witnesses allegedly describe two large bearded men, meaning police received perhaps the most specific and simultaneously useless suspect description imaginable. Then Vegas enters the chat. A man meets two women at a nightclub, drinks with them, hits the hot tub and brings them back to his hotel room. He later wakes up to discover cash missing along with tens of thousands of dollars in allegedly unauthorized transactions. The crew immediately begins investigating the most important unanswered question: Did the poor guy at least have a good night first? We may never know. Things eventually move to air travel, where Rizz recalls sitting near a passenger who suffered a seizure before takeoff and was ultimately removed from the flight because of the medical risk. Then comes another flight story involving a passenger who reportedly got completely naked and began engaging in inappropriate behavior in front of neighboring passengers. The pilots apparently decide they’re still going to Miami. Honestly, at that point, everybody deserves the vacation. Moon also unloads on airline entertainment systems that constantly interrupt movies with announcements, lengthy videos and pilots who sound approximately 40 years older over the intercom than they looked while boarding. Then Rizz destroys airplane dining forever. According to a flight attendant story discussed on the show, some passengers have changed babies on tray tables. Yes. Those tray tables. The same tray tables where you put your pretzels. Moon says he wipes down his tray, screen and armrests whenever he flies. Suddenly that no longer sounds obsessive. It sounds like basic survival. And because apparently the gastrointestinal theme had not been explored thoroughly enough, the crew circles back to diarrhea for a discussion about a reported cyclospora outbreak tied to shredded iceberg lettuce being declared over. Lettuce is back, baby. The long national nightmare has ended. Finally, the crew gets into one of St. Louis’ favorite shared hobbies: complaining about Lambert. Airport pickup congestion, Uber confusion, departures versus arrivals, construction, terminal access and the increasingly chaotic experience of simply trying to collect another human being from the airport all get their turn. For years, one of St. Louis’ greatest airport flexes was convenience. Now? Welcome to Thunderdome. Please locate your Uber somewhere in this general zip code. So yes, this episode has allergies, mysterious body pain, bizarre sleeping positions, Mary Kay, unconventional comedy compensation, fitness trends, competitive bathroom disasters, weaponized feces, Vegas mistakes, naked airline passengers, contaminated tray tables, lettuce recalls and St. Louis airport rage. Exactly what you expect from a daily podcast that begins by recommending chicken soup and somehow ends up making you afraid of gyms, airplanes, mobile homes, lettuce and your own digestive system. Feel better, everybody. And maybe disinfect that tray table. Follow The Rizzuto Show → linktr.ee/rizzshow for more from your favorite daily comedy show. Connect with The Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast online → 1057thepoint.com/RizzShow. Hear The Rizz Show daily on the radio at 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio in St. Louis, MO. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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