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The Foldable iPhone Fiasco: Lefties, Movies & Midnight Margaritas
What happens when Apple makes a $2,000 foldable phone that apparently hates left-handed people? You get 43 minutes of The Rizzuto Show doing what it does best: taking one mildly ridiculous topic and driving it directly into left-handed presidents, witch costumes, midnight margaritas, Mortal Kombat nostalgia, creepy horror movies, celebrity gossip and an AI-generated Eminem song that fools 100,000 people. Just another productive morning. Episode 32 begins with the show discussing reports and early reviews of Apple’s foldable “iPhone Duo,” including complaints that its design is much friendlier to right-handed users. The hinge, rounded edges and relocated controls supposedly create an awkward experience if you insist on holding the phone with your left hand. Moon’s response? The world is built for right-handed people. Get over it. And with that, our comedy show launches into an investigation of whether left-handed people might actually have the better deal everywhere else. Rizz runs through supposed advantages for lefties in baseball, tennis, boxing, fencing, complex math, art, music and even language recovery after certain brain injuries. The crew gets into famous lefties like Jimi Hendrix, Paul McCartney, Bill Gates and Oprah, along with the surprisingly large number of left-handed presidents. This also gives Lern an opportunity to provide several historical theories that absolutely nobody should put on an exam. Her future college course already has a name: “Things I Think, But Can’t Prove.” Everybody passes. Then the episode turns into movie-review central when Lern reports back from Practical Magic 2. She and her mom went to the theater dressed as witches, expecting to find an entire coven waiting for them. There was no coven. They were the witches. Fortunately, midnight margaritas were involved, so dignity was never really part of the evening. Lern gives the movie an 8 out of 10 and talks about its humor, heart, nostalgia and emotional moments. She admits she may either be entering a sentimental phase of life or becoming clinically depressed, which seems like a perfectly reasonable way to review a movie. Then we discover Rafe also saw Practical Magic 2. Alone. Rafe explains that he wanted to support Sandra Bullock and help the movie succeed despite the rough critical reviews. He liked the movie, enjoyed the mother-daughter energy in the theater and gave it roughly a B. Of course, the crew is much more interested in the visual of one lone man sitting among groups of mothers and daughters watching Practical Magic 2. Especially once imaginary witch hats and the phrase “Bangers Only” enter the conversation. Moon has the male-nostalgia counterpart ready: Mortal Kombat 2. For him, it scratches the exact same itch. It doesn’t need to reinvent cinema. It just needs to make him feel like the kid who went to see Mortal Kombat repeatedly in the ’90s. Karl Urban shows up as Johnny Cage, the cheese level rises appropriately, and Moon happily returns to being a Mortal Kombat nerd. Then everybody puts on their extremely unofficial film-critic hats for Obsession and Backrooms. The crew discusses Obsession and its wonderfully simple premise: a guy uses a magical “One Wish Willow” to wish that a woman would love him more than anything else in the world. Great idea. Surely nothing horrifying could happen there. Moon likes how the movie plays with recognizable feelings of love and infatuation before pushing them into increasingly disturbing territory, while Rafe appreciates the simplicity of the magical object that kicks everything off. Then Moon describes Backrooms as this generation’s The Blair Witch Project — built around internet lore, liminal spaces, camcorder-style filmmaking, anticipation and the jump-scare language younger audiences grew up with through games like Five Nights at Freddy’s. Rizz also squeezes in the Mr. T documentary because apparently we’re running a multiplex now. Then it’s time for Crap on Celebrities, and this comedy show somehow gets even busier. The transcript gets into Lady Gaga reportedly appearing with a newborn alongside fiancé Michael Polansky, possible new music from My Chemical Romance, Oasis teasing an announcement, and the show’s ongoing investment in whether Ella Langley can knock Mariah Carey off a chart record. Naturally, the crew’s proposed strategy is simply to play “Choosin’ Texas” continuously until Mariah’s Christmas empire collapses. We also get entertainment talk involving The Odyssey, Alan Ritchson, Helen Mirren embracing AI for quick medical questions, and the wonderfully specific revelation that Mirren once lamented Kurt Cobain never getting to experience GPS. Forget the music he never made. The man never got turn-by-turn directions. That’s apparently the tragedy. Dakota Johnson and Machine Gun Kelly dating rumors send Rafe into emotional distress because he has had enough of MGK getting involved with attractive women. A resurfaced Dustin Hoffman interview sparks a much more serious discussion about consent and past allegations surrounding the actor. Courteney Cox talks about potentially directing a future Scream, and the crew immediately starts constructing an increasingly ridiculous meta-Scream movie that eventually involves Jennifer Aniston. There’s also news of another Family Stone movie, giving Lern yet another sequel to something she loves and another opportunity for the entertainment industry to weaponize nostalgia against her. Finally, AI comes for Eminem. An AI-generated track presented like a new Eminem song reportedly racks up more than 100,000 YouTube views before being removed. The crew listens to part of it and is less than convinced. Where’s the variation? Where’s the real Eminem energy? Most importantly: where’s the reference to his mom? If artificial intelligence wants to replace Slim Shady, apparently it needs to study harder. By the time celebrity birthdays arrive, Episode 32 has traveled from a foldable phone to left-handed supremacy, presidential handedness, witch costumes, midnight margaritas, horror movies, Mortal Kombat, Mr. T, celebrity relationships, AI medicine and fake Eminem. Which is exactly how a comedy show should operate: start with a phone and end somewhere nobody could possibly have predicted. Come for the foldable iPhone controversy. Stay for Professor Lern’s completely unaccredited history class, Rafe’s solo witch-movie adventur See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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