The Rizzuto Show | Daily Comedy Podcast
The Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast | 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio | Gamut Podcast Network
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Cosmic Rumbles & Game Show Fumbles
Moon kicks things off with random facts, including the slightly unsettling reminder that everything you see technically happened in the past because your brain needs time to process visual information. Humanity’s deepest hole is only about 7.6 miles deep compared to an Earth radius of thousands of miles, and apparently hundreds of thousands of people around the world may hit the space bar during the exact same second you do. More importantly, the scientific word for your stomach rumbling enters the conversation, and the crew immediately does what scientists surely hoped humanity would do with that information: turns it into a bit. Then Rafe takes everybody deeper into the cosmic rabbit hole. Looking at distant stars means looking into the past, some of those stars may not even exist anymore, and the Andromeda galaxy we see is essentially an ancient version of itself. We eventually make it all the way back to the cosmic microwave background and the early universe before Moon asks the only question that matters: do you know what movies are playing in theaters right now? And with that, science is over. It’s time for Three in Five. The rules sound painfully simple. Rafe gives a category. The contestant gets five seconds to name three things that fit it. No stall tactics, no verbal buffering and no wasting precious seconds trying to remember information you absolutely knew before somebody put you on the radio. Naturally, everything goes wonderfully wrong. Mike in Fenton is asked for three Julia Roberts movies and fires off Pretty Woman, Ocean’s 8 and Ocean’s 11. Unfortunately, Ocean’s 8 creates a minor courtroom proceeding before Mike recovers by naming states beginning with M and actors who played Batman. Matt gets cereal mascots and Saturday Night Live cast members while apparently communicating through technology recovered from an archaeological dig. Somehow, he survives. Then Chris is asked for three TV shows set in New York City and confidently opens with… CHiPs. Yes. CHiPs. California Highway Patrol. New York City. This comedy podcast cannot explain what happened there. We can only document it for future generations. Things become even more legally questionable when Chris attempts to name three Doritos flavors and introduces “spicy taco” into the proceedings. The judges investigate. Mercy is granted. Then he names ibuprofen, Tylenol and acetaminophen as three over-the-counter pain relievers, creating another debate because Tylenol and acetaminophen might be getting suspiciously friendly with each other. Somehow, tickets are still awarded because Moon has apparently decided rules are just another form of audience participation. Lisa joins the game and gives us what sounds suspiciously like the “Pittsburgh Farts” while attempting to name professional baseball teams. The crew loses it, Lisa survives, and we eventually discover she knows her domestic beers extremely well despite preferring Ichiban. Honestly, respect. Then Bill returns seeking redemption after a previous mathematical catastrophe, only to discover that redemption is apparently not available today. Asked to name three laundry detergent brands, Bill gets as far as “Tide.” Goodbye, Bill. Jordan struggles with NFL teams and St. Louis landmarks, giving us “the Arch, the River…” before the five-second clock claims another victim. At this point the game has stopped being trivia and become a controlled experiment studying what happens when humans experience extremely mild pressure. Finally, Brad attempts to end things on a high note with refrigerator condiments, solo artists known by one name, and holidays that get you a day off work. Naturally, even that creates debates over Elvis, Bowie, Veterans Day and what exactly constitutes a universally recognized day off. Throw in AC/DC and Foo Fighters tickets, Shinedown, Rob Zombie, Marilyn Manson, refrigerator hot-sauce organization, missing Milk Duds and a shocking amount of leniency from Moon, and you’ve got another comedy podcast that started by contemplating the age of the universe and ended by arguing about condiments. Science taught us that looking into space means looking into the past. Three in Five taught us something even more important: Never judge someone for freezing on an easy question until Rafe puts a five-second timer on you. Follow The Rizzuto Show → linktr.ee/rizzshow for more from your favorite daily comedy show. Connect with The Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast online → 1057thepoint.com/RizzShow. Hear The Rizz Show daily on the radio at 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio in St. Louis, MO. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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