Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Alex Alexander
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Moving Past Inconvenience and Leaning into the JOY of Helping Our Friends
Lately I’ve been hearing about how the price of community is inconvenience. You know what I’m talking about: those posts about how, if you want a village, you have to be a villager. You have to give the rides, buy the gifts, and drop off the meals. But I think these messages focusing on inconvenience are missing the point. Yesterday, I was at a baby shower for a friend who has wanted to be a mom for so long that I could cry thinking about how excited I am for her. Sure, buying presents and wrapping gifts are not my favorite ways to support people. At the same time, I was so unbelievably happy to be part of this celebration for her. Isn’t helping your friends also, in some way, beneficial for YOU too? The inconvenient tasks on the surface level can be a burden, but I think the long-term payoffs are so worth it. In this episode you’ll hear about: Why I think these messages about the inconvenience of community is out there: we live in an individualistic society that focuses on self-improvement and achievementFinding ways to support your friends that are enjoyable but not burdensome; for me, this is cookingWhy performing tasks to help our friends can be both burdensome AND joyful at the same time, and why I hate the idea of reciprocity Resources & Links Listen to Episode 74 about small intimacies. Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok! Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out! This episode is sponsored by Slowly, a digital pen pal app used by over 10 million people worldwide. If you’ve been looking for a low-pressure way to connect with someone completely outside your normal friendship circle, this is it. Exchange letters at your own pace, no small talk panic required. Download Slowly free and get 30% off Slowly Plus using my link: https://open.slowly.app/miXL/l8ei5iw6 WANT MORE? My book, Are We Friends Yet? hits shelves June 16. Get on the waitlist for pre-order bonuses + a first look. Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.
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