Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Alex Alexander
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What to Say When Someone You Love Is Grieving with Shelby Forsythia
This episode will completely change how you show up for the people in your life when they are grieving or going through something. Most of us have heard the advice about what to do when someone is grieving: bring the meal, send the gift card, walk the dog, take the kids, run the errand. And those things matter, but knowing what to say is where a lot of us panic. Today I’m talking to Shelby Forsythia, a grief coach, author, and podcast host whose book, Of Course, I’m Here Right Now, gives us actual words to say when we don’t know what to say. After years of working with grievers, Shelby started noticing that people were often telling themselves three stories: I’m crazy, I’m alone, and my life is going to feel like this forever. So she built three phrases to meet those stories. In this episode, we talk about why hurtful words can fracture relationships after loss, why disappearing can be just as painful, and how the right words can help someone feel seen, believed, and less alone inside what they are carrying. In this episode you’ll hear about: Why Shelby believes words are one of the most accessible grief support tools we haveThe 3 phrases that don’t “fix”, bright-side, or rush someone through griefHow someone can be physically present in a friendship but still emotionally vanish from the part of someone that is grievingThe importance of sitting with someone in their “grief house” without trying to drag them into hopeResources & Links Learn more about Shelby on her website, and check out her book, Of Course, I’m Here Right Now. Shelby also references the book, There Is No Good Card For This by Kelsey Crowe and Emily McDowell. Episode 172: Unmuted Rooms and Judgment-Free Listening with Erin Snow Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok! Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out! WANT MORE? My book, Are We Friends Yet? is here. Order your copy today! Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.
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