Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Alex Alexander
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Narrowing the Liking Gap and Feeling More Confident in Your Interactions
Raise your hand if you’ve ever walked away from an interaction and thought, gosh, I was so awkward! They’ll never want to talk to me again. If this is you, you’re not alone, and honestly, it probably wasn’t as bad as you think; we’re often harder on ourselves than other people are on us. When it comes to connections, there’s a name for this underestimation of how much others actually enjoy interacting with us. The Liking Gap is a social phenomenon that I discuss in-depth in Episode 41, and today, I want to talk about it again – but this time, how to reduce that gap with five tips on feeling more confident and connected during everyday interactions, no fake positivity required. Whether you’re navigating friendships at work, struggling with small talk, or seeking genuine connection, this episode is packed with relatable stories, actionable advice, and plenty of encouragement. In this episode you’ll hear about: What the “liking gap” really is—a scientifically studied phenomenon where we underestimate how much others actually enjoy interacting with usFive actionable ways to feel more confident and connected in conversations, from being genuinely curious to using both verbal and nonverbal cues to show interestInsightful reframes for neurodivergent listeners, with practical pivots that turn common hurdles (like interrupting or not loving eye contact) into strengthsWhy searching for the good in others and starting with a baseline of respect can transform even casual acquaintanceships Resources & Links Listen to Episode 15 about staying curious in your interactions, Episode 41 about the Liking Gap, Episode 74 about small intimacies, and Episode 40 and Episode 144 about neurodivergent friendships. Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok! Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
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