Is My Child A Monster? A Parenting Therapy Podcast
Leslie Cohen-Rubury
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Bonus Episode: Understanding Why a Good Parent-Child Fit Matters
Welcome to the first mini-bonus episode where I focus on one or two key concepts or skills in a conversation with my producer Alletta Cooper. Every once in a while we will add one of these bonus episodes to further explain a concept/skill that came up in the previous session. In this episode I explore and explain what the parent-child fit is and why it is so important. In parenting, there are often conflicting needs and wants. Navigating these dilemmas and finding solutions is critical for creating a validating environment which fosters a "good" parent-child fit. Time Stamps 1:48 Defining the parent-child fit 3:21 The “goodness” of fit vs the “poor” fit 4:03 Creating a safe environment for the child to feel safe, feel capable, feel seen 4:45 Balancing between accepting your child vs changing your child 6:34 Figuring out what works to validate everyone’s needs 6:44 Respect = creating a validating environment 6:58 An example of unintentionally creating an invalidating environment 8:30 A dialectic dilemma is the tension between expectations or needs 8:40 The synthesis is the solution to the dilemma 9:10 Name it for the child that they may be different but not bad! 10:38 Asking parents to open their eyes to ALL of their children, not just the child with the disruptive behaviors 11:57 - 16:08 Steps to create a good parent-child fit This is called the bio-social fit - a transactional modelLook at biological make up your childLook at the environment (the parent, the teacher, the classroom)Acknowledge the differences without judgementValidate, validate, validateUse flexible thinking and problem-solving including BrainstormingBalance between acceptance and change Be creative in your solutionsRespect, connect and collaborate with your child Resources: Leslie’s Handout: Understanding the Parent Child Fit Leslie-ism: Remember to respect, connect and collaborate with your child For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie’s work on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences. Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O’Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.
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