Is My Child A Monster? A Parenting Therapy Podcast
Leslie Cohen-Rubury
Podcast
Episodes
Listen, download, subscribe
How to Resolve Conflicts with Special Guest Dale Rubury
Sibling Rivalry is a great opportunity to practice conflict resolution. In this episode we talk about the steps to help you resolve conflicts with your kids. But these same steps (easy to explain and difficult to practice) can be used with all relationships that experience conflicts. Leslie explains the steps to conflict resolution and highlights the one step that is often forgotten and without it can sabotage any attempts to resolve the conflicts. Leslie and her daughter Dale discuss these steps and apply it to real life experiences Time Stamps 2:12 Definition of conflict 3:58 Four Steps of conflict resolution with the MISSING PIECE Stop the actionState the problemGenerate solutionsPick a solution and move forward4:26 Five Steps of Conflict Resolution Stop the actionState the problemUse Empathy and perspective taking to get to the underlying concernsGenerate solutions Pick a solution and move forwardConflict resolution often fails when the empathy step is missing 5:18 Using a childhood example to demonstrate these steps 6:25 Step in to sibling rivalry only SOME of the time, not al of the time 7:26 Don’t attempt to figure out who started. It is not effective Start with “I notice there is a problem here” not “Who started this” 9:50 Getting Confirmation with a nod or saying yes is important to make sure someone feels heard and understood 10:12 Validation, active listening, reflective listening is absolutely necessary 10:45 Use non-verbal, physical support when the other person is talking 12:20 Empathy and validation is not condoning the behavior or agreeing with the other person's perspective 14:00 Have the child use “I Statement” so you avoid blaming language 14:45 Generating solutions - engage the children - 18:10 Moving from Emotion mind to wise mind as you move through the steps. If emotions are too high, wait until another time to do the conflict resolution process 20:15 When generating ideas make sure each child is taking responsibility for their part and coming up with solutions that they can change 22:53 When is it most effective for parents to jump into conflict resolution? When the PARENT feels most capable of handling the conflict. 23:40 The infamous “Sink Story” 26:20 The Fair Fighting Fouls (see show notes for link) 27:26 The parents' job is to teach it and model it - Leslie-ism: Conflict resolution begins with empathy Resources: Fair Fighting Rules in a Pamphlet called Time Out: Resolving Family Conflicts Other conflict resolution resources for Kids at Peace Education Foundation For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie’s work on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences. Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by
Is My Child A Monster? A Parenting Therapy Podcast RSS Feed
