Is My Child A Monster? A Parenting Therapy Podcast
Leslie Cohen-Rubury
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Louise & George Part 1 of 3: When You and Your Kid "Flip Your Lid"
Leslie delves into one of the most common challenges parents face: how to navigate a strong-willed child who doesn’t do what you want them to do, This is first session with Louise and George who have a 6 year old daughter Anna and a newborn baby. They bring to light the frustration many parents feel when their child refuses to do simple tasks, like brushing teeth or following a bedtime routine. And it is understandable when the frustration leads to the feeling that parenting is like a slog. This episode also focuses on the different parenting styles and how that might be impacting their child’s behavior. Time Stamps 6:35 Start with Compassion for yourself as a parent since this job is really hard 10:05 Mirror Neurons Children pick up on what the parent is feeling and visa versa 10:40 Patience is needed for when seeking changes in behavior 14:13 Strategies for stepping into a conflict between parent and child Be a reporter and name what is happening - give information to othersDo nothingBait them with “I think you have something very important to say”Connect with your child especially when they are pushing you away with their behavior “I am here and I want to hear you”“Hitting is working for you but its not working for me”Shape the behaviorhitting—->yellingyelling—--> using a talking voice20:35 Yetzer Hara and Yetzer Tov - two ideas from Wendy Mogel’s book The Blessing of A Skinned Knee 23:35 Engage the child in “a plan” in order to problem solve challenging behaviors such as brushing her teeth 27:05 The theme of connection and how important that connection is 27:43 Getting at the root cause using the phrase “you must have a very good reason for (not brushing your teeth) or whatever the behavior is. 29:50 Communication is more than just the words: 70% of communication is nonverbal. Your child is responding to your tone, gestures and facial expressions. 33:10 Ask yourself how can parents have fun at the job of parenting 37:07 Connect first and then ask for the cooperation Resources:: Wendy Mogel’s Book: The Blessing of a Skinned Knee For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie’s work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences. Leslie-ism: Connection is the foundation for cooperation.
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