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Alonement

Francesca Specter

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Maggie Smith: Financial Independence, Relearning Vulnerability & Dating After Divorce

Maggie Smith is a poet & writer who found overnight fame when her poem, ‘Good Bones’, went viral on social media in 2016. Later on, her life was to take a further change when her husband of 19 years, and the father of her children, announced he wanted a divorce two years later. Her memoir, You Could Make This Place Beautiful, published in April 2023 – explores the connection between these two events, how become a hit writer led to the breakdown of her marriage – and what could be found in the disruption that followed it all. Throughout it all, Maggie’s love of creativity and solitude has been a constant – something she speaks to me about in this episode. We also talk about finding love in middle age, and the joy of a relationship that’s free from the pressure of milestones. Thank you to our season sponsor Sensate, a palm-sized infrasonic stress and anti-anxiety device. Visit getsensate.com/alonement for 10% off your first device. Takeaways Alone time can be a positive and restorative experience, especially for creative individuals.Being in a relationship that is not working can be lonelier than being alone.Financial independence and self-sufficiency are important for personal empowerment.There is freedom in choosing a relationship without merging lives and milestones.Alone time is essential for creativity and self-reflection. Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Small Talk 03:33 Exploring the Meaning of Alone 04:27 Aloneness as a Positive and Restorative Experience 05:24 The Irony of Being an Introverted Writer 06:24 The Challenges of Being an Introverted Writer in the Public Eye 08:15 Navigating Life After Divorce 09:43 The Loneliness of Incompatible Partnership 10:41 Living Alone vs. Living Without a Partner 11:36 The Myth of Partnership Solving Loneliness 13:29 The Shift in Attitudes Towards Being Alone 14:52 The Impact of Age on Relationship Choices 16:13 The Pressure to Settle Down and Have Children 17:32 Financial Independence and Self-Sufficiency 18:45 The Liberation of Not Racing Through Relationship Milestones 19:58 The Freedom of Choosing a Relationship Without Merging Lives 21:20 Balancing Independence and Vulnerability 22:48 The Lack of Cultural Models for Non-Traditional Relationships 23:44 The Beauty of Constant Companionship 24:43 The Negative Side of Hyper-Independence 25:39 The Importance of Alone Time for Creativity 27:29 Learning to Accept Help and Support 28:54 Returning to a Special Place for Solitude 31:43 The Restorative Power of Writing Alone 33:09 The Impact of Professional Success on Relationships 35:31 The Evolution of Creativity After Having Children 39:21 The Joy of Having Unstructured Alone Time With a one-off payment of £5, you can listen to the Alonement podcast ad-free. https://plus.acast.com/s/alonement. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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