Alonement
Francesca Specter
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Jessica Pan: The Introvert's Guide to Socialising
In this episode, Jessica Pan discusses her book 'Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come' and her journey of embracing extroversion. As we discuss on the show, Jessica is almost the opposite to me – she’s an introvert who learnt to be more extraverted, whereas I started exploring Alonement as a means of dealing with my fear, as an extrovert, of being alone. She tells me about her journey to embrace solo travel, socialising with strangers and making new friends, all with the help of her 'extrovert mentors'. What this following episode touches on is the importance of balance and choice around how we spend our alone time, plus how learning to integrate more connection in your life can help you fall back in love with your solitude. We also touch on the loneliness of big cities, particularly London, and how Jessica has managed to curate her own tiny village within the UK capital. Jessica also talks about starting her Substack newsletter, It'll Be Fun, They Said, based on part-time job working in a local independent bookshop. Finally, she shares her favourite kinds of alone time, which involves reading by the ocean and journaling in a cafe. Takeaways Embracing alone time can be a luxurious and fulfilling experience when it is a choice.Working in a bookshop can be enchanting and provide opportunities for meaningful connections with customers.Journaling is a valuable tool for self-reflection and understanding one's thoughts and feelings.Solo travel can be challenging but can also provide opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery.Having extrovert mentors can provide guidance and support in navigating social situations.Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Background 02:21 Different Journeys, Same Goal 03:42 The Fluidity of Introversion and Extroversion 04:10 The Pleasure of Working in a Bookshop 05:31 Starting the Substack Newsletter 06:30 Choosing Pleasure and Storytelling 08:25 The Enchantment of Working in a Bookshop 09:50 The Joy of Working in a Bookshop 10:46 The Aspirational Lifestyle of Working in a Bookshop 11:02 Balancing Work and Alone Time 12:57 The Privilege and Prison of Being Alone 13:57 Choosing to Be Alone 14:25 The Nuance of Enjoying Alone Time 15:24 The Universal Loneliness Problem 16:48 The Counterintuitive Decision to Be an Extrovert 17:18 The Loneliness of Metropolitan Life 19:10 The Surprise Solo Travel Experience 23:12 The Challenges of Solo Travel 25:08 The Benefit of Extrovert Mentors 32:50 Favorite Extrovert Adventures 36:36 Gaining Compassion for Introverted Parts 40:05 Tips for Spending Time Alone 45:27 Appreciating Introverted Parts of Yourself 46:26 Creating a Village in the City 49:21 Curating a Community 51:17 Creating Connections 52:15 Favourite Alone Time Thank you to our season sponsor Sensate, a palm-sized infrasonic stress and anti-anxiety device. Visit getsensate.com/alonement for 10% off your first device. You can follow Jessica Pan's Substack at jesspan.substack.com, and my own at francescaspecter.substack.com With a one-off payment of £5, you can listen to the Alonement podcast ad-free. https://plus.acast.com/s/alonement. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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