Love Inside Out with Adele Testa
Adele The Coach
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14. What primary school kids know about Love -that most adults have forgotten
Last Sunday, I spotted a poster on a classroom wall in a primary school. Five rules. Handwritten in coloured marker. For children aged six. And I stood there thinking — if adults of my generation learnt and applied these five rules in their romantic relationships, half the heartbreak out there simply would not exist. We teach children these things before they can tie their shoelaces. Then somewhere between childhood and adulthood, we collectively forget every single one. In this episode, I go through all five rules — one by one — and show you how each of them is a masterclass in how to love another person well. We talk about why we stop listening the moment we start preparing our defence. Why we confuse intimacy with agreement. Why we stop being curious about the person we love — and start relating to a version of them that no longer exists. Why we deliver emotional verdicts without ever explaining ourselves. And why changing your mind in a relationship feels like losing — when it's actually the bravest thing you can do. Whether you're in a relationship, dating, or single and doing the inner work — this one is for you. Chapters: — Welcome & the story behind the poster— Rule 1: Proof of listening (not just the intention)— Rule 2: It's ok to think differently (no, really) — Rule 3: Stay curious — what Gottman found about couples who last— Rule 4: The power of "because"— Rule 5: Changing your mind is not losing— Heart Work: Your challenge for this week— Closing Referenced in this episode:John Gottman — decades of research on long-term couple satisfaction, including the concept of "love maps" and curiosity as a predictor of lasting relationships. Key works: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999), The Science of Trust (2011). Love Inside Out — new episodes on Spotify & Apple PodcastsDMs always open: @adele_thecoach
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