Love Inside Out with Adele Testa
Adele The Coach
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12. Why we rage at the people we love
Have you ever lost your temper with someone you love and barely recognised yourself afterwards? Not just frustrated — properly gone. The message you fired off with shaking hands. Or the silence you went into on purpose, because you knew it would cut deeper than anything you could say. This week I'm taking on anger and rage — that zero-to-hundred surge where the calm, reasonable version of you vanishes and something far older takes the wheel. I'll walk you through what's actually happening in your brain when this hits, why the person standing in front of you is almost never the real cause, and why we stay so composed with strangers yet completely come apart with the people we're closest to. Here's what to expect: Why anger is a healthy, necessary emotion — and rage is something else entirelyThe iceberg sitting under your fury: the fear, the grief, the feeling of being unseen that the anger is really protectingHow the way we were raised decides whether we blow up or quietly turn it inwardThe "emotional bank account" idea — how every explosion costs you more than you think, whether you're three dates or three years inWhy rage rooms and screaming into cushions can actually backfire, and how I moved from managing my anger to preventing itAnd yes — the time I detonated over a single strawberry, and what it taught me about everything I'd been swallowing for monthsIf you're partnered, dating, on the receiving end of someone else's rage, or single and still carrying the weight of how you've reacted before — I made this one for you. Previous episode I mentioned: 10. Overthinking in Relationships & Dating - here is the link . New episodes every Sunday . Follow Love Inside Out so you never miss one. 📩 DMs on Instagram always open: @adele_thecoach . Chapters: 00:00 Understanding anger and rage00:39 The neuroscience of rage03:00 The iceberg of emotions04:17 The impact of rage on relationships05:58 Cultural perspectives on anger08:03 The cycle of rage and shame10:15 The illusion of power in rage12:08 Repairing after rage14:00 The aftermath of rage16:08 On the receiving end of rage19:53 The space between stimulus and response21:24 The trigger self vs the true self22:11 Intimate connections and emotional vulnerability24:15 The roots of rage and unprocessed emotions26:04 Why your reaction is bigger than the moment27:43 From anger management to anger prevention33:06 Practical tools for anger prevention
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