The Successfully In Love Podcast
Katarina Polonska
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Should I Stay or Should I Go? The 3 Things to Do Before You Decide
It's 2am and you're replaying the fight from three weeks ago. You've run the pros and cons list a thousand times. You've asked yourself "should I leave my partner?" more times this year than you'd admit out loud. And you already know that asking again isn't going to change anything. In this episode, Katarina Polonska explains why that question keeps looping: it's being asked before the three inputs that would let you actually answer it exist. She walks through building all three, in the order that matters. First, your own patterns. What you do when things get tense, how a strategy that once protected you now runs on autopilot inside your marriage, and the uncomfortable ownership question that surfaces blind spots fast. Second, your actual needs, not your wants: the granular, concrete picture of what a nourishing life looks like for you, which most people running the stay-or-go loop have never once defined. And third, the strategy: turning each need into a specific ask, building the counter-move for each of your own patterns, and running it for a defined 90-day stretch that produces real data instead of a vague feeling. At the end of that runway, one of two things happens. Either your partner responds to clear asks and the day-to-day experience of the marriage genuinely shifts, or they don't, and that tells you something more useful than another sleepless night ever could. If you stay, you stay with evidence instead of exhaustion. If you go, you go with the inner peace of knowing you left no stone unturned. Katarina also covers where therapy fits alongside this work, and why the looping question was never proof that something is wrong with you. It's a sign the inputs haven't been built yet. Certainty is available, and it comes faster than most people expect once the real work starts. Watch this free video to learn more: https://www.successfullyinlove.com/ Book a free strategy call with Katarina: https://calendly.com/katarinapolonska/20minconsult About the Host Katarina Polonska is a Strategic Relationship Advisor and a Gender Dynamic Social Scientist from the University of Oxford. She has 15 years of experience studying love, gender, and relationships. Follow Katarina on Instagram: @katarinapolonskaConnect with Katarina on LinkedIn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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