That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding
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#140 How to cope with - or help - a partner who hoards, with Laura Silverstein, Certified Gottman Couples Therapist
Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-140-how-to-cope-with-or-help-a-partner-who-hoards-with-laura-silverstein-certified-gottman-couples-therapist/ This week, I’m with Laura Silverstein, a Certified Gottman Couples Therapist, who is a genius on how couples can improve their communication and the way they take each other’s needs into account. So we explore the complexities of living with a hoarding partner and the impact it has on relationships. Laura provides anecdotes and advice on setting healthy boundaries, initiating difficult conversations, and the role of a therapist in couples therapy. We also discuss the value of authentic communication, empathy, and the idea that love requires continuous effort. We look at the difficulties non-hoarding partners face in understanding their hoarding significant other, the impact of unresolved conflicts, and the evolving perception of quirks in a relationship. The conversation highlights the importance of open and honest communication, emphasising the need for both partners to be involved in decluttering decisions. Join us as we talk about coping with – and helping – a hoarding partner in a relationship. Living with a Hoarding Partner Challenges for the non-hoarding partner Understanding hoarding behaviour Impact of conflict in relationships Approaching hoarding issues as a couple Communication and Decision Making Importance of open and honest communication Involving the hoarding partner in decluttering decisions Examples of different approaches to decluttering Setting Boundaries and Deal Breakers Clear communication and healthy boundary setting Communicating core needs with a partner A therapist's role in helping couples set boundaries Couples Therapy and Relationship Dynamics Role of a Therapist in Couples Therapy Encouraging honest and respectful communication The goal of therapy in relationships Valuing the time spent in a relationship Initiating and Navigating Difficult Conversations Approaching conversations in a positive and constructive way The "I like, I wish, I wonder" framework for expressing emotions and requests The importance of clear communication and avoiding misunderstandings Building and Sustaining Relationships Acknowledging each partner's needs Significance of authenticity, empathy, and mutual understanding Challenging topic of hoarding and relationship conflict. Understanding and accepting challenges of hoarding disorder. Improving communication, appreciating efforts, and showing love. Authenticity in relationships and understanding partner's pain. Respect partner's wisdom, avoid secrets and betrayal. Honesty and understanding create helpful solutions. Fear of hurtful conversations hinders creative solutions. Setting boundaries is important for relationships. Progress is non-linear Seeking respectful closure through difficult conversations is success. Leaving with integrity and seeking support. It's important to normalise conflict and focus on repairing relationships through understanding, communication, and meeting each other's needs. Importance of embracing differences in love and relationships. Advocate for needs Common conflict communication pattern is attack-defend. Skilled communication improves relationships. Acknowledging past communication issues, understanding partner's challenges, emphasising authenticity and love in communication. Authentic empathy and communication are key in addressing relationship struggles and finding mutual understanding and support. Focus on trust and communication in relationships to address hoarding issues. Discussing how to handle hoarding sensitively and considering different scenarios before making decisions. Honest communication and creativity in relationships. Fear of difficu
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