The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast
Chris Seiter: Self Help, Relationships, Dating And Sexuality
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Success Story: How This Woman Got Her Dismissive Avoidant Ex Back Using Attachment Theory
I had the pleasure of interviewing Regina, one of our latest Success Stories for the podcast and learned a ton about the importance of patience. What struck me as particularly interesting about her was that she got her ex back over seven months ago (as of the writing of this excerpt.) Yet, she didn’t really post in the community about her success until her ex actually said the three little words we all long to hear. I love you! Only then did she consider her success story an actual success. It really goes to show the amount of patience we are dealing with in this amazing woman. Enjoy our conversation! What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back? Take the quiz Podcast Transcript Chris Seiter 00:00 All right, today we’re back with a really interesting success story, we are going to be talking to Regina here, who’s going to take us through start to finish her situation, she ended up posting in the community, what, like last week or something. But what’s interesting is she didn’t have like, usually when you see these success stories, they’re like really long write ups, hers was kind of short. But one thing stuck out to me. I believe the breakup was in 2021. And you didn’t really get them back until maybe like a year, a year and a half later. So we’re here to kind of explore the journey that it took that that whole process took you on. But thanks for coming on. And doing this. I really appreciate it. Regina 00:46 Yeah, not a problem. I mean, it’s my honor to get to share with you and you know, as thank you for helping me get to, you know, reach my goal and my relationship with my, my partner, my potato is you will? Chris Seiter 01:00 Yeah, what was it? You said from spud to stud? Yeah. Regina 01:07 I used to just remind myself of that, through this whole process to like, you know, I’m worth something. So I really do need to start, and if he’s not going to be it, then that’s okay. But, you know, here we are. So, Chris Seiter 01:19 it just took a while to get them there that Regina 01:23 did, that’s okay. And me too. You know, it’s, it’s a journey for both of us together. And in order for it to work, we both have to be on the same page. So I was also a huge journey for me. And I think that for me, it was what, what led me to here. And where I am today is the steps that that you showed, and the little processes that you have throughout the program really helped me view it from a different perspective that I haven’t seen before and even thought about for myself. So it was really valuable. So it really, it really did change my mindset, and then my ability to like proceed not only myself, but relationship from a different standpoint. So it was really great for me. Chris Seiter 02:02 Well, thanks so much. Obviously, more of this is the ego stroke that I needed. But why don’t we actually go to the dark days the like, going back a couple of years, you guys break up? Why don’t you take us like from your journey from the get go? Regina 02:17 Yeah, so we were actually in a very, like nonchalant kind of relationship for about eight months prior to the breakup. So I mean, we were exclusive, but it was, you know, just more like friends that hung out. And we’re a little bit of intimate, but you know, not so much a deep connection. And, you know, I come from a place where I have a lot of children, and they’re all teenagers. So I was married for a long time over a decade. I’m not, you know, I don’t want all that crazy marriage and things like my idea of a good really done that. Yeah, so like, I just want to focus on my children and being a good mom. And, you know, if I have a partner that’s willing to step in and help here and there, like, just be a part of that, that’s great for me, but you know, I don’t I don’t want that intertwined relationship again. And so when we first David, I would try and like reiterate that to him, because that’s not what he wants, either. So I feel like he was really scared because he started to get deep feelings for me, and then thinking, hey, maybe she’s gonna change her mind. So he broke up with me. Very sad. He, he broke my heart a little bit. And I was completely faded. I mean, I, I was hurting. Chris Seiter 03:34 Okay, so what was his reasoning in the breakup talk to actually end the relationship with you. Regina 03:42 Um, he told me that I was the perfect woman for him. I was absolutely amazing. And every aspect, you know, I, he’s like, You are absolutely perfect, but you deserve better than me. Because I don’t think I can give you marriage. And I don’t want to give you any more kids and things like that. And I don’t want to live with somebody. And I was just like, but I didn’t like, what, Chris Seiter 04:07 I didn’t ask for that. So it’s Regina 04:10 awkward. It’s just a part of my language is just like, okay, so I was like, it’s gotta be something else. Like, there’s no way that’s what it is. So, I was like, you know, whatever. You know, it really hurts. But, you know, if it’s meant to be it’ll, it’ll be meant to be, you know, and I just looked at her and I said, you know, what, what happens when you decide that this isn’t what you really want? And he was like, I don’t think I’ll change my mind. And I said, I’m pretty sure you will. But I wish you the best. And I left it at that. And then I cried for about four days, and I didn’t leave my room. It’s really bad. very heartbreaking. Chris Seiter 04:48 And at any point during those four days of locking yourself in the room and crying, do you at least start going to YouTube or Google and start scrolling? At what point do you kind of like a I want to explore how to fix this. Regina 05:02 I think it was like, it was like the last day and I was just so in my own head and just in my own just sadness. And, you know, I always strive, and I pride myself in the fact where I go by, you know, if you can’t change it yourself, then you can’t really complain about it, like, do something. So I was like, What am I doing just whining and crying, like, I’m gonna do something like, I can fix that, like, there’s something I can take from this. So what am I going to learn? How am I going to fix this? Like, I know him and I are meant to be together, like in my soul, like, there’s just this connection that I just couldn’t ignore, like, I have had my heart broken a million times, and I never really, it never bothered me, but for whatever reason this one did. And so I was like, there’s a reason for that. And I need to figure out what that is. So I was looking on Facebook, I was looking on YouTube, I was reading books, and like, all the things like me, you know, like, he’s just not that into you. And, you know, like the bitches guide to revenge that had some good points, you know, and like, you know, and so I was like, Well, it’s kind of be a me problem. And, you know, and then I stumbled upon a couple of podcasts that had your program in it. And it was, you know, I mean, in your basis is, you know, get the guy back, you don’t get that partner back. And while that’s like a really good goal, and that’s like the motivating cause, I could see in just the way you described your program, and the steps, and the empowerment that you offer people to like, really think about it differently. I’ve really, that’s what really, ultimately drew me to your program. And so I did a little bit more research. And I watched, like, probably every single video, I could find a view on YouTube. Like, Chris Seiter 06:48 went back to the old ones, or I’m just like reading off a script and like trying, and I don’t have the fancy microphones and everything. You went back that far. Regina 06:57 I like all the way back to like, 2001 when we were still in high school, you know? Like, I just aged myself, but anyway. Yeah, so I found that and then I signed up immediately. And then I just dove right in, I just ran into the materials. I was like, Okay, I gotta figure this out. And then it broke my heart to learn that I had to cut contact off for 45 days. Yeah, so I was like, no contact, I’ve never done that before. Like, I usually just leave it what is it is what it is, and if they like want to hang out or whatever, and be friends, whatever, no big deal. But I just for whatever reason I couldn’t do this, I knew I had to do something different this time. So I painstakingly did the 45 days of no contact. And it was brutal. But I kept a lot to myself, I just found myself again, like you said, you know, you got to go back out there and become the ungettable person that they’re gonna miss. You know, and that’s really empowering when you go from a place of feeling unworthy to taking that feeling and those emotions and then creating self empowerment out of, you know, things you enjoy. And that is such good medicine for your self worth and your being. And people really don’t. Like they really underestimate the power of just self care. You know, even on the basic level, like going for a walk, like, Hey, I’m going for my daily walk with my dog, you know, and that’s the kind of stuff I would post because I love my puppy. She’s cute. Yeah, she is. So those are the things I would do, you know, when I was helping with my, my job at the time, and helping build entrepreneurs up at the at the time. So, you know, I was giving myself to other people while also trying to work on myself and that, in conjunction really helped my own person. So I was able to just become more confident with myself and know that I don’t need somebody to tell me that you know, I love you because you’re here for me or you do this for me like I’m solid on
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