The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast
Chris Seiter: Self Help, Relationships, Dating And Sexuality
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Success Story: She Let Go After Her Breakup And Then Every Single Ex Came Back
A few days ago our community received this post, And I just knew I had to interview her. What followed was one of the best conversations I’ve ever had with an ex recovery member. We talked about all sorts of things ranging from, Thida’s Story The transition from anxious to secure The importance of social media game Advice on what really works to not just get one ex back (but all exes) Trinity work Motivation on how to stick with the program The importance of having a battle buddy Enjoy! What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back? Take the quiz Chris Seiter 00:03 All right, today we have an interview that is one of the more unique ones that I think we’ve ever had on this is Thida. And not only did I believe the the group posts that you posted in the community was like, I didn’t just get my ex back. I’ve had every ex come back since I’ve started going through this. So her and I are just gonna have an organic conversation. But thanks for coming on and doing this Thida. Thida 00:29 Thank you for having me. Like I told you earlier, I completely manifested this. I literally, when I was writing that little post on Facebook, I said, the moment I write this, I’m gonna hear from Chris and I’m gonna be sitting with him having an interview. Right? Yeah. Chris Seiter 00:44 And that’s pretty much exactly what happened. Yeah. Okay, so why don’t you take us back to the dark days, one year ago? Exactly. Around this time, I think. Just take us, take us through the journey. Thida 00:59 Okay. So my husband, I, we were together for seven years. We broke up in June of 2011. I’m sorry, not 2011 2021. Chris Seiter 01:08 We are back 10 years Thida 01:12 2021. I found your videos, I started binge watching everything. It seemed like nothing worked for me to get I wasn’t utilizing any of your, you know, the programs. And it wasn’t until April of 2022 is when I actually signed up for the program. And I had, I was on a trip overseas. And I literally read the whole book like three times, within a two week period that I was overseas, and I like found your podcast downloaded and listened to everything like probably two or three times within those two weeks of me traveling overseas to Europe. So it was like I wanted to like immerse myself in the program. I joined the Facebook group with mashed up with a battle buddy, her name is Bianca. I were like the closest friends now we talk like all the time, so it’s amazing. It’s awesome support. Nothing seemed to work out. And I would you know, when they say don’t do like the, you know, during no contact, like don’t respond and all that I completely broke no contact, I wasn’t. It wasn’t me reaching out, it was him reaching out. And then me being like, Oh, I’m getting some type of attention. So I should at least respond back. And I literally broke no contact, no contact probably five or six times, like, you know, within like a few weeks in or whatever. And it wasn’t until it was August of 2022 is when I said I’ve had enough and Oh, during this time too. I did everything like they said not to not to do like stalking, paying attention to what he’s doing. Just focusing on him. Like, I don’t know what was going on with me at the time, I was just focused on him. And it wasn’t until like I said, August was when I don’t know something snapped in me and I was just like, Okay, I need to change. This isn’t working for me anymore. So I’m just gonna leave him be go completely, you know, no contact forever. It was for me. And I literally he messaged me again and I literally told him to eff off. And I was like, you’re out of my life eff off. And I just focused on myself. And then that’s was last year and it’s been like six months. And my my life has like take taken like leaps and bounds. Like quantum leaps. I’ve, you know, my career took off people that were meant to be in my life. I feel like people who were like they just matched with you on on a you know, on that level. I came into my life things that were like, you know, synchronistic happen. So, yeah, that’s basically what Chris Seiter 03:45 happened. So I feel very well, no, no, no, you wouldn’t Thida 03:50 give up. It wasn’t until I gave up that he came right back into my life. So Chris Seiter 03:54 why don’t you talk about that, like that the decision that you made to basically be like, Screw this, I’m not doing this anymore. Like I’m doing. I’m doing me instead of yeah, maybe, maybe I should find a different way of phrasing it. No, you’re Thida 04:07 fine. You’re fine. So like I said, I broke no contact, like five or six times and five or six times and one of my favorite things I always say is in order to change the dance, you have to change the song. And I felt like I was just repeating the same song over and over to where nothing was happening. And I felt like alright, this is too crazy. I just need to let them go. So like I said, I told him eff off and I completely dropped off the face of the earth to him. i He never heard a peep from me. But my social media was still active, I was posting where I was going what I was doing, like I said my career like took off. And and during this time he never from what I thought he was not paying attention. And but somehow he was so somehow he was finding this or somebody was telling him and with after like maybe 60 days of complete silence he messaged me and and basically said like everything a girl in my opinion Listen would have wanted to hear was like I love you. I you know, I regret everything I want to get back together and want to, I want to work this out literally everything or girl could wish in that situation. And I just said no. Chris Seiter 05:13 So had you guys this is your ex husband? Correct? Okay, so had you guys had sort of an on and off again type relationship. So it was just like you you’re divorced. You’re kind of like, I want to try to find a way to fix this after the divorce. And it’s interesting, did you? Did you ever take one of those attachment style tests online to figure out like what your attachment style was and try to figure out what his attachment style was Thida 05:40 secured. He’s anxious. Chris Seiter 05:42 Okay, well, that’s interesting. So he’s anxious. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So Thida 05:47 the process I kind of flipped from secure to anxious, if that makes any sense, because I was secure before and then it became anxious during the breakup? Well, Chris Seiter 05:55 obviously, yeah, I think that’s a big thing that most people misunderstand about attachment styles is like, your life circumstances have a huge impact on it. So you can be completely secure. But if you’re in a relationship with someone who’s like an anxious person or an avoidant person, or you go through a very stressful time in life, you’re paying your secure side. Time. kind of anxious. Yeah, it seems like that’s what happened to you. Yeah. We don’t get many anxious exes. So what about him? made you think or realize, oh, he has an anxious attachment style? Maybe marriage? Yeah. Thida 06:32 always anxious. He was always like, making sure I was okay, making sure that I was happy. Just he had very anxious tendencies, like little things would make him very anxious. So including me, he was always wondering, like how I was doing in the relationship if I was happy, or whatever, you know. Chris Seiter 06:48 Okay. So this is another interesting question, I’d like to ask you. So you go through this mindset shift, you know, maybe three or four months after you get into the group or the community, you’ve been paired with battle, buddy, everything seems to kind of be like not working for you. And you change the song to use your own words. When you did that, what was his reaction? Was it just radio silence for however long it took before he reached out and told you everything he wanted? You wanted to hear? Thida 07:15 It was radio silence from him? Yeah. First for that. 60 days. Chris Seiter 07:20 And those 60 days, were you checking his social media. You just sit Thida 07:26 there going? Yeah, by then it was 35 or six times it failed, you know, no contact. And I was just like, I give up. And it was like the moment my energy shifted, and I like went off the grid of that relationship. That was when he came like he’s now back like a rubber band. Chris Seiter 07:44 Yeah, it’s kind of amazing. I often talk about that a lot on the YouTube channel, which is like, hey, it’s almost you have to like kind of fail and just throw your hands up in the air before, like, all of a sudden, something different happens. Thida 07:56 something to be said about that. What do you think Chris Seiter 07:59 it is, I’m curious to get your take because it happened to you. Thida 08:03 I feel like he felt it energetically the same with like, I like I said, in my post, I, literally every guy from my past within the past four or five months, like even people that I’ve went on, like maybe one date with who don’t even have my number anymore, I don’t even live in the same side of the country. All of a sudden, they found me on social media. And I’m not even saying like, Oh, there’s a handful. I’m talking to like, 2030 people that I haven’t heard from all within a short span of that time. So I felt like there was like, shockwaves that went out into the world. And here they are. Chris Seiter 08:35 Do you think that was more of an energy based thing? Or do you think it was more of you posting a little bit more frequently on social media and then take paying attention and sensing the energy? Thida 08:46 I think, while I was my posts have been the same amount. But I feel like
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