19 Nocturne Boulevard
Julie Hoverson
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19 Nocturne Boulevard's reissue of the week: CULTISTS STOLE MY BABY!
Rookie newshound Theo Walsh is sent on his first job for the World Bugle (provider of hard-hitting news about Elvis, aliens, and the paranormal) Oh, my! Written and produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Theo Walsh - Henry Mark Leona Pope - Robyn Keyes Selena Hempstead - Karena Fredrick Chief - Julie Hoverson Child - Chandra Wade Truth - Melissa Pang Justice - Jerry Bennett Hygiene - Gwendolyn Gieseke-Woodard Bruce, the Bounty Hunter - Joel Harvey Sidekick - Reynaud Leboeuf Awesome Guest appearance by Bryan, Dave, Wes, and Uncle Randy of Drunken Zombie Podcast as the other reporters!!! Episode Music: Josh Woodward (www.joshwoodward.com) 19 Nocturne theme - Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Recorded with the assistance of Ryan Hirst of Neohoodoo Studio Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson Cover: Brett Coulstock What kind of a place is it? Why it's a bullpen - this is where the NEWS happens. *********************************************************************** CULTISTS STOLE MY BABY! Cast: [Opening credits - Olivia] Selena Hempstead, the mother Theo Walsh, cub reporter Leona Pope, jaded old hand photographer Justice, older male cultist Hygiene, stern female cultist Truth, sweet female cultist Chief, Editor of the Monthly Bugle Reporters Bryan, Dave, Randy and Wes Bruce the bounty hunter Thug, his sidekick Child OLIVIA Did you have any trouble finding it? What do you mean, what kind of a place is it? Why, it's a bullpen, can't you tell? This is where the news happens. MUSIC SOUND PASSING THROUGH A NOISY NEWSROOM REPORTER BRYAN [on phone] We can't do anything about that unless Elvis actually spoke to you. He did? Can your dog verify that? REPORTER WES [on phone] Right, I got that, but the beans - you have to eat them raw for the diet to work? Isn't that kind of crunchy? REPORTER RANDY Do you have any pictures? Was the alien wearing the leather bunny suit while it was impregnating you? REPORTER DAVE How do you know the post-it was placed on your fridge by aliens? SOUND DOOR OPENS, NOISE CONTINUES UNDER THEO Hello? Boss? LEONA Come on in. THEO Cool! SOUND DOOR SHUTS, NOISE CUT OUT THEO Hey! I'm super excited to have this chance to-- LEONA Save it. I'm not the guy. Editor'll be back in a moment. THEO Oh! Well, I'm Theo. SOUND FLUSH LEONA Whatever you do, don't stare. THEO Stare? SOUND DOOR OPENS, HANDS WIPING ON TOWEL CHIEF All right - oh you're here, good. THEO Um - yeah, I'm so excited to have this chance to-- CHIEF Save it. I got your resume. Right, Theo - Theo.... SOUND PAPERS BEING SHUFFLED THEO Walsh? CHIEF You don't sound all that sure. Not a bad name, though kinda normal. How about we give you a nickname - Flash! No, that doesn’t work with Walsh. Zip? LEONA I'll see what fits. What's the job? CHIEF Yeah, yeah. Ok, Theo Walsh with a journalism degree from West Podunk Community College, meet Leona Pope - she'll keep you from hurting yourself or making the Bugle liable. LEONA Mostly I just take your photos. THEO So, what are we going to be working on--? CHIEF Theo. Leona. E-O. There you go. You're the E-O team now - no, no - even better - Team E-O. LEONA Whatever. CHIEF All business, eh, doll? Right, then. Look, Theo, my family has run this magazine for three generations. THEO [eager] Oh, yes - I know! LEONA [heavy sigh] Newb. THEO This newspaper brings the most cutting edge stories to life every week! LEONA You actually believe that? CHIEF Shut it. Go on. THEO Well, I've followed the World Bugle for years - and I do realize that a lot of the material in here is puff - or straight out made up stuff-- CHIEF What!? THEO [backpedaling] No! no - let me explain! I understand completely - to be able to print the hard cold truth about the really controversial topics, like UFOs and the paranormal, you have to fill in the bulk of the magazine with implausibilities, just so that the real truth only reaches the people who already understand! CHIEF Hmph. Yeah. Something like that. LEONA [wicked chuckle] CHIEF Anyway. I've got a sauna and massage, followed by a mani-pedi at noon, so let's get you moving-- I have an informant in room 3. Have fun. THEO I'm so excited about this-- LEONA Come on. SOUND PHONE PICKED UP CHIEF Yeah, Sergei? Oh yeah, that sounds real nice... SOUND DOOR OPENS, NEWSROOM NOISE LEONA Left. SOUND DOOR SHUTS THEO Wh-what did you mean, don't stare? LEONA At the Chief. THEO He looks just like any other big newspaper editor. LEONA You missed it? THEO You mean the comb-over and five o'clock shadow? The mole? The flabby man-boobs? LEONA Woman-boobs. THEO [shuddering] Oh.... SOUND FOOTSTEPS STOP THEO After you. LEONA You're the reporter. You go first. [ominous] Always. THEO You make that sound like a bad thing. LEONA I've been in the biz for 20 years and I've been teamed up 73 times. You do the math. THEO Oh. SOUND DOOR OPENS THEO Hello. Um, I'm Theo-- LEONA Wink. THEO [boggled] What? LEONA Trying out nicknames. THEO Not right now. SELENA Hello? THEO Yes, sorry. I'm Theo. This is Leona. SELENA Is it safe here? THEO Um-- SOUND DOOR SHUTS THEO [shrug] Yeah. [brightly] So you have a story for us? SELENA Yes, but - there's a life at stake. THEO [eager] Really? SELENA [trying not to cry] My... baby. THEO Oh! Here-- SOUND TISSUE BOX GRABBED AND MOVED, TISSUE PULLED SELENA [blows her nose] They took him--! THEO Aliens? SELENA No. Worse. THEO Scientologists? SELENA [dry, not crying] Oh, please. [sniffling again] Cultists. THEO Other cultists? SELENA [annoyed] Yes - are you--? Um, is there another reporter I can talk to? THEO Sorry, I'm just trying to make sure I get my facts straight. LEONA [musing] Straight. Arrow. Shooter. THEO What? LEONA Nothing. But I think you got your first headline right there. THEO I do? LEONA [important] CULTISTS STOLE MY BABY! MUSIC, BUT SELENA [over music] Did you say his first? MUSIC ENDS SOUND CAR NOISES THEO [narrating] So team E-O made their way to the lair of the cultists. LEONA Town. THEO They have a whole town? LEONA Were you narrating? SOUND TAPE RECORDER TURNED OFF, HIDDEN THEO Me, no. Why? Is that bad? LEONA I worked with a guy who narrated once. Once. THEO [gulp] Oh. Well. What's the name of this town? LEONA Where were you during the interview? THEO I was there - I even took notes. LEONA How many shirt buttons did she have open? THEO [dreamy] four. LEONA [sigh] THEO Right, um-- SOUND FLIPPING PAGES THEO Wow. [reading] I don't remember any of this. LEONA Automatic writing? THEO How do you think I got through college? SOUND FLIPS ONE MORE PAGE THEO Aha! Sorry - nope. I didn't get the name. Just wrote "Town." LEONA Yup. THEO What? LEONA The name was "town". Apparently they're big on using the "true names" of things. THEO Bet that's easy to find on a map. MUSIC LEONA [flat] Wow. [sucks in air] Just... wow. THEO It's so...clean. And everyone looks kind of ... normal. LEONA What were you expecting? Black robes and facial tattoes? THEO Um... yeah. TRUTH May I help you? THEO um--? LEONA All yours. THEO [gulps] Right. [deep breath, blows out] Right. We're ...uh... LEONA Smooth. That should be your nickname. Smoothie. THEO ...scouting for a new smoothie bar. Our Smoothie bar company...um... Groovy Smoothie ...is looking for new locations. LEONA Not too dusty. TRUTH Wow. That would be lovely. But you'd have to use all natural ingredients. We're very back to nature here. THEO I noticed. The all-cotton clothes. The non-synthetic shoes and accessories. LEONA Metrosexual. TRUTH Are you sure you just noticed, or have you been doing your homework? THEO Um... While I'd love to say I was bright enough-- LEONA So would I. THEO --to look ahead, I really just noticed. TRUTH That's still good. Why don't we walk and you can tell me more about your smoothies? LEONA I'll just snap some pics. For the folks back home. You two kids talk. THEO Yeah. Sure! MUSIC AMB IN CAR, DRIVING LEONA [exasperated sigh] I sure hope you were taking notes. She was too cute for your ears to work. THEO If she's an example, I can't believe they're any kind of BAD cult. LEONA D******d. THEO What? LEONA Just addressing your thinking end. THEO No, I'm not... that kind of guy! She's sweet. [beat] I'm really not! LEONA Yeah, yeah. What did miss pretty poison have to say? THEO Truth. LEONA Pushover. THEO No, her name's Truth. They go in for-- LEONA Those literal names, right. THEO Yup. Anyway, I couldn't ask about kidnapped kids, being in the smoothie business, but I think I got some good notes about the layout of the place. LEONA Where do they keep the kids? SOUND FLIPPING PAGES THEO Well, they actually take in a lot of foster kids in this town. Apparently, they think of it as a holy cause - working with troubled child
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