19 Nocturne Boulevard
Julie Hoverson
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19 Nocturne Reissue of the Week - Poe-Etic Justice
[Mature themes and violence] A modernization of the story "Hop-Frog" by Edgar Allen Poe, turning it into a 1980s frat house horror movie. A bunch of pranksters find out the joke's on them. Written and produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Frogger - Brian Lomatewama Lydia - Megan Lane Rex - James Turpin Deanna - Chandra Wade Uno - Justin Charles Buzz - Lothar Tuppan Trey - Danar Hoverson Lucky - Cary Ayers June - Kate Waterous Lisa - Melissa Pang Bob - James Sedgwick Fred - Jonathon del Arroz Dora - Melissa Bartell Kathy - Suzanne Dunn Music by Persson (available on Jamendo) Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson Thanks to Glen Hallstrom for sound assistance Cover Design: Dennis Hager "What kind of a place is it? Why it's a college locker room, in the classic era of frat-house prank films, can't you tell?" ****************************************************************** POE-etic Justice Loosely adapted from the story "Hop-Frog" by Edgar Allen Poe by Julie Hoverson (19nocturne@live.com) Cast: [Opening credits - Olivia] Frogger Lydia Tripp Deanna Dora Bob, Fred, Kathy, June FRATS: Rex Mason, fraternity head, etc. Uno Buzz Trey Lucky OLIVIA Did you have any trouble finding it? What do you mean, what kind of a place is it? Why, it's a college campus in the nostalgic era of screwball hijinks films, can't you tell? MUSIC LYDIA (Quotes from the original story) I never knew anyone so keenly alive to a joke as the king was. He seemed to live only for joking. To tell a good story of the joke kind, and to tell it well, was the surest road to his favor. Thus it happened that his seven ministers were all noted for their accomplishments as jokers. AMB LOCKER ROOM UNO Man! Did you see the look on his face! BUZZ Like he'd never seen it bald before. FRATS [Hearty laugh] TREY That was you guys? Oh, man. FROGGER [muttered] It's gonna itch. UNO [less chummy] What? FROGGER [laughs unconvincingly] When the hair grows back. It itches like a sonofabitch. TREY, UNO, BUZZ [chuckle] UNO [pretend serious] And Frogger would know! TREY, UNO, BUZZ [laugh hysterically] REX Cut him some slack, dudes. Frogger's our pal. He's a funny guy. MUSIC LYDIA About the refinements, or, as he called them, the 'ghost' of wit, the king troubled himself very little. He had an especial admiration for breadth in a jest, and would often put up with length, for the sake of it. MUSIC REX Are they gonna get here soon? BUZZ If Studs and Lucky got everything right. REX Cool, then. This is gonna be a laugh riot. BUZZ When the froshes come walking into the rooms, each thinking they're gonna "get a little", oh yeah. REX Got someone with a tapedeck in each bathroom? BUZZ Too right! We had to borrow an extra one from Delta pi, but that's cool. It was Deanna made the tapes anyway. REX Frogger, what'd you get her to say? FROGGER [sigh, then, putting on a matching tone] I gave her this script. Should be funny as hell. BUZZ Here! "oh, good! You got my note! I hope you don't mind that I'm a little... kinky. [laughing and having a hard time reading] I want you to undress and [collapses] REX What? BUZZ Gimme a minute! [laughing, deep breath] undress and put on my underwear. It's right there on the bed. BUZZ and REX [hysterical fit] REX Not laughing, Frogger? FROGGER Just saving it til I see their faces. REX [agreeing chuckle] That'll be boss. Hey, you're into all that educated stuff. What's up with this Woody Allen guy? BUZZ That's that little Jewish nerd, right? REX This chick I was with last week says he's all hilarious, but I watched this movie - well, some of it, I was mostly macking on another hottie, and it was all like whining. FROGGER You want the brainhead answer or the real life one? REX Hit me with the smart one. FROGGER Woody Allen specializes in observational humor - looking at the angst and neuroses inherent in modern life and stepping aside and commenting on them. BUZZ [elaborate yawn] FROGGER But mostly it is just whining. REX [laughs] I knew it! SOUND DISTANT DOOR OPENS BUZZ Shh! Here they come! MUSIC LYDIA I believe the name 'Hop-Frog' was not that given to the dwarf by his sponsors at baptism, but it was conferred upon him, by general consent of the several ministers. MUSIC AMB PARTY REX Grab me a brewski Frogger. FROGGER No problemo. DEANNA Why "Frogger"? I mean, that's not like his real name, right? REX Duh. You just gotta see him cross a street sometime. Freaking funny. DEANNA Why do keep a little toad like that around? Did you like lose a bet? REX Nah. Frogger's pretty frosty, for a complete nerd. He comes up with some truly awesome pranks. DEANNA He would have to. Just looking at him is like visual herpes. REX Nah, the guys like having him around, cuz next to a mini weenie like that, we all look like kielbassas. Not that I don't look good anyway. DEANNA [chuckles seductively] Yeah, takes a whole can of vienna sausage to measure up to one ball park frank. REX Plumps when you get it hot, babe. FROGGER Your beer. And a cocktail for you. DEANNA [cold] Thanks. REX Cool. Hop along now, dude. My term paper is due tomorrow. DEANNA See, that's where it's so much harder to be a girl than a guy. REX Why? DEANNA No matter how smart she was, I couldn't keep a dog like that around. We'd get a rep. MUSIC LYDIA I am not able to say, with precision, from what country Hop-Frog originally came. It was from some barbarous region, however, that no person ever heard of - a vast distance from the court of our king. Hop-Frog, and a young girl very little less dwarfish than himself, had been forcibly carried off from their homes. MUSIC AMB OUTSIDE LYDIA Hiya, Tim! FROGGER [warm] Hey Lydia. LYDIA You, um, doing anything tonight? FROGGER Me? No. Did you need some help with something? LYDIA Me? No. I was thinking there's a showing of L'annee Derniere a Marienbad in Culver Hall tonight. And after what you said about the surrealists [falters] I thought maybe-- FROGGER Like a date? LYDIA [backing off] Maybe. [covering] Or as friends. I mean, you don't have to pay or anything. FROGGER No, no! I'd love to. I'm just surprised you'd still speak to me. LYDIA Because you hang out with the jackasses? Nah. I understand. I wouldn't mind getting on someone's good side. FROGGER [deep] It's not worth it. Really. LYDIA But I'm lucky - I don't do anything that makes me a target. Back in Fulton County, I hated being invisible. Here, though? It's a blessing. FROGGER Even in Fulton, I didn't have much of a choice. Gotta run now. Rex is planning a big party for the long weekend. LYDIA He needs help? FROGGER Mostly he just wants people to give him ideas that he can take credit for later. MUSIC LYDIA The king was sitting at his wine; but the monarch appeared to be in a very ill humor. He knew that Hop-Frog was not fond of wine, for it excited the poor cripple almost to madness; and madness is no comfortable feeling. But the king loved his practical jokes, and took pleasure in forcing Hop-Frog to drink. MUSIC ALL FRATS Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! FROGGER [drinking, gasping] REX Awesome. FROGGER [coughing] BUZZ Weenie. ALL FRATS [laugh] FROGGER [barely contained anger] Keep 'em coming. ALL FRATS [approval] REX Take a breather, dude. Mellow out first. Besides, before you kiss the sky, we need your brain. FROGGER [breathing deep, trying not to get sick] What do you expect it to do? ALL [laugh] REX We heard that Epsilon Omega is having a toga party. ALL Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga! REX Shh! We're pissed we didn't think of it first. UNO Very pissed. REX Since we don't want to look like copycatting dildoes, we need to come up with a better party. TREY And quick - it has to be Friday. LUCKY Their party is Saturday. BUZZ And it has to be awesome. UNO And chicks have to be nearly naked. REX Well? FROGGER Hmm. Garden of Eden. BUZZ We don't want any bible crap-- FROGGER You wanted less clothes than togas. UNO That’s the dumbest-- REX Hold on. Are we talking fig leaves and stuff? [considering] Hmm... UNO I ain't gluing nothing to MY Johnson. FROGGER Paint the bikini? TREY What? FROGGER Get a bunch of tempera paint, have everyone arrive in bikinis, lay out a bunch of tarps and paint each other. REX You mean paint ON each other, right? FROGGER Duh. I would suggest finger painting. REX [considering] Yeah. FROGGER And then everyone has to shower off... REX [up] Yeah! That is so boss! Half naked chicks, AND you get to put your hands all over them. Frogger, you are the MAN. MUSIC LYDIA On some grand state occasion-I forgot what-the king determined to have a masquerade. Hop-Frog, in especial, was so inventive in the way of getting up pageants, suggesting novel characters, and arranging costumes, for masked balls, that nothing could be done, it seems, without his assistance. MUSIC AMB OUTSIDE LYDIA
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