Heidi At Home
Heidi Skudder
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Eps 2: Connection as The Missing Piece at Bedtime
Welcome to episode two of my special four-part Heidi at Home series, in partnership with CBeebies BeddyByes. One more drink. One more wee. The wrong teddy. Another cuddle. A question they absolutely HAVE to ask you right now. And somehow a story about something that happened three Tuesdays ago… Why is it that the moment we say goodnight, our children suddenly need us for EVERYTHING? In this episode, I’m looking at bedtime through the lens of connection and separation, and what might actually be going on underneath all that stalling, silliness and resistance. Because bedtime is a big transition. We’re asking our children to move from the activity and connection of the day towards sleep, and ultimately to separate from us for the night. We talk about: Why children often seek more connection as bedtime approachesWhat bedtime stalling can actually be communicatingWhy connection doesn’t have to mean endlessly extending bedtimeThe difference between more attention and predictable, meaningful connectionSimple ways to build connection into the evening without adding another enormous job to your listWhy the hour or two before bed mattersHow light, noise, activity, screens and even our own energy can affect the transition towards sleepHow to hold a bedtime boundary while still staying connectedWhat happens when we, as parents, become activated at bedtimeWhy responding to your child at night doesn’t mean you’re creating a “bad habit”I also talk about something I’ve done with my own three children, even as they’ve got bigger: getting into the bath with them. Warm water, skin-to-skin contact, chatting and laughing together can give us a little pocket of connection at the end of a busy day. Your version might be ten minutes of child-led play, a cuddle on the sofa, a story or simply lying beside them while they tell you about their day. It doesn’t need to be elaborate. Often, knowing when and how connection is coming is just as important for children as how long it lasts. We also look at the “runway” towards bedtime and how we can make the gear change from busy to calm feel a little smoother. If screen time is part of your family’s evening, thinking about the pace of what children are watching can be part of that too. CBeebies BeddyByes uses slower, mindful content to support those gentler transitions, so that it can sit earlier in that wind-down before screens go off and you move into your usual bath, stories, cuddles and bedtime routine. My question for you after this episode is a simple one: Does your child know when and how they're going to get connection with you before you ask them to separate for the night? Sometimes that’s a really useful place to start. Find CBeebies BeddyByes You can watch CBeebies BeddyByes on CBeebies and BBC iPlayer. Follow @beddybyesofficial on: YouTube: @beddybyesofficial Instagram: @beddybyesofficial TikTok: @beddybyesofficial And you can find more episodes of Heidi at Home on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. This series shares general parenting guidance drawn from child development research and my 17 years working with families. It isn't a substitute for individual medical, psychological or educational advice. If you're worried about your child's sleep, anxiety or development, please speak to your GP, health visitor or another qualified professional. Paid partnership with CBeebies BeddyByes.
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