Therapy Gecko

“I LIVE IN A HIPPIE TOWN”

“HOW DO I END THIS CONVERSATION?”

LEAVING THE MATRIX (then coming back)

“I WAS AN ALASKAN FISHERMAN”

GECK IRL: “IS MURDER BAD?”

“MY MOM RAN AWAY TO DISNEY WORLD”

“I SOLD MY HUSBAND”

GECKMAIL: “I MARRIED MY HORSE”

GECKMAIL: “I SEXTED MY DRIVING INSTRUCTOR”

FISHING FOR CLARITY

“WE FOUND LOVE IN A PARKED CAR”

THE EXISTENTIAL DREAD EPISODE

“I WAS ON A JAPANESE TV SHOW WITH MY DENTIST’S COUSIN”

GECKMAIL: CHICKEN DREAD

“MY PARENTS MARRIED ME OFF”

“MY LIFE IS LIKE THE LION KING”

“I TAKE THE BUS 3 HOURS TO DAVE AND BUSTERS”

GECKMAIL:  “A GUY ON XBOX LIVE STOLE MY GF”

THE TIC TAC HORROR STORY

“WILL I UPSET THE GOVERNMENT WITH MY JEWELRY?”

“SHOULD I KEEP DOING FAVORS FOR HIM?”

“I MIGHT HAVE TELEKINESIS”

GECKMAIL: “I TURNED MY FRIEND INTO A FROG”

“I FOUND LOVE ON CHATROULETTE”

GECKMAIL 2.0: “I AM A HEDONIST”

“I’M GETTING A CAMERA IN MY D*CK”

GECKMAIL: “THERE IS A 40 YEAR AGE GAP”

“A LIFE CHANGING BUS RIDE”

“I ENGAGE IN ARMORED COMBAT”

GECKMAIL: POLYAMOROUS BIRDS

“I AM EXPERIMENTING WITH DMT”

GECKMAIL: “I’VE SPUN A WEB OF LIES”

“I WILL NEVER LOVE AGAIN”

“I’M A BREAKDANCER IN MEXICO”

“THERE IS A PORTAL IN MY FENCE”

THE ICE CREAM QUEEN

FLYING LOTUS TALKS TO PEOPLE AS A GECKO

“I WANT TO BE A SPACE PIRATE”

“I GHOSTED MY GF”

“I’M LOOKING FOR MEANING”

“I WALKED ACROSS JAPAN”

GECKMAIL: “SHOULD I SHIT ON THEIR FLOOR?”

“BEING AN ADULT IS AWFUL”

“WE RAN AWAY TO PORTUGAL”

GECKMAIL: “I’M CASTING A SPELL ON MY NEIGHBOR”

“I’M HOLDING IT TOGETHER FOR MY KIDS”

READING VIEWER MAIL (aka ranting alone)

OCD AND SKATEBOARDING

“I’M ENTERING A NEW ERA”