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The Queen's Escort

This week on Dubland we find out that in PJ's youth, the bank saved the wrong fiver for him. He's also starting to ruin his life with hope in a complete switcharoo with Suzanne. PJ reckons he has ten years of mobility left and Suzanne, who is younger, says he trampolining days are behind her. She then goes on to defend the UK royals, loves all the pomp and circumstance, PJ who cannot comprehend any of it wants a fancy dress funeral, he also gives a radio masterclass (faders and all) before we return to Suzanne's masterclass on royal ceremony. After congratulating Queen Suzie we move back to proper Dubland territory with poos in the park. The government has lost the room and there's plenty of talk about coffee shops and chippers and the likes. PJ's birthday happened so that's a rich topic of conversation and he's a new man - "there are cracks of light everywhere", "the sea will change your life" as opposed to his less good moods when "it's too early for ice cream". Also, we hear about how you shouldn't buy yourself a box of chocolates. The battle of the saints returns from last week because PJ got a bit carried away on this particular issue, but he also has a glorious new theory on idle hands. Look, it's Dubland, we can't solve your life (though we do try near the end of this episode), just enjoy the damn podcast. There's also loads of great bonus episodes for members now. You'll hear about the ten meals in a day challenge, some listener reviews, the Boxing Story retold, some Would You Rather questions and loads more, support the show by becoming a member here! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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